The firsts and the lasts

Reading this poem is bittersweet.  A friend posted it on FB in a post that was right after the cutest pic of my sleeping baby niece wearing a crocheted outfit.  I thought about all those times when sleep was a central character in the cast of my life.  Oh if only the baby would sleep.  Oh we must keep the baby on a schedule or he will be ruined forever.  Oh we can't have him sleeping in our bed, he'll be in high school before we can get him out.  As my baby had his last first day of high school and his last first football game and my other baby had her first day of high school and is (hopefully, fingers crossed and prayers said) going to be asked to her first dance, my life came flashing by.  Flashes of babies sleeping on my chest, sleeping in my bed, waking me in the night, waking me in the morning, driving the car trying to get one to nap.  And I'm reminded of all those last firsts and moments.  Moments in time.  Moments that may or may not have been captured (most likely in my case not since I'm a terrible journeler--one of those perfectionistic traits I've talked about before).  They are there though, still clear, the feeling of the baby relaxing on your chest.  The even breathing.  The sweaty little head against your sweatier chest.  The feeling of wanting to relax but knowing the dishwasher needs emptying.  I find myself these days, on the eve of my 50th birthday, more and more letting things go and taking a walk or writing in this "journal."  Of course my house is going to Hell but hey, I'm not going to miss these lasts and firsts, so if my knick knacks are dusty and there's a dandelion the size of a tree by my front steps, please forgive me because I've written today's entry.

Time Flies

Time flies.  It really does.  I mean just yesterday this little guy was born.

And today he started his senior year in high school.

I started this new blog as a place to jot down what happens when you have a freshman and a senior and because I want to capture those moments.  The moments that seem significant at the time and then we forget and the moments that seem insignificant at the time and we remember forever and the moments that we don't want to forget.

So here is moment number 1.  The first day of Freshman Year and Senior Year--the first time ever that they happily put their arms around each other and smiled for the first day of school picture.  This is the more usual one (first day freshman year).

Moment number 2 happened when I was walking around the corner in the kitchen and happened upon Parker's football bag.  Yes that's right, the first day of school and he forgot his football stuff.  

I also realized that I rarely write in my other blog because I tend to want to write a lot.  Hopefully by giving myself permission to jot down a couple of thoughts, I'll keep this more up to date.  My friend Laura has taught me that.